“Can I ask you… if they come for me… where do you think they’ll take me?”

This f*cking heartbreaking question. Today, from my wonderful beloved young trans friend, whose eyes are suddenly about to spill tears in the middle of a discussion that was about politics. But the political is very very personal these days, if you happen to be the for-no-reason target of a hate campaign that’s sweeping our nation.

Silence at the table. How can us grownups possibly answer this? There is no knowable answer, and how would an answer help, anyway?

Deep breath. “I don’t think that’s the question we need to worry about,” I venture. “The question is, if they come for you, how will we be ready?”

Memories are stirring, now. I do know one way to answer this, don’t I?

Way back in the Before Times, in 2019, the brilliant and comforting Ana-Marie Jones came in and did a day of training for everyone at my old organization. “It’s not about disaster prep,” she told us. “It’s about how to walk through this world and prosper in any situation.”

I wrote about my takeaways from that training here, specifically for how to turn your phone into a ready-for-anything tool. A lot of the individual apps she recommended are probably out of date, but the basic ideas are still very valid. I’m going to go back through the list tonight and see what I can pull together now.

A few other things that I still recall, which I’ll add here along with my own research and opinions:

• Keep some cash with you at all times. I remember Ana-Marie always wore a lovely beaded necklace where one of the beads unscrews to reveal a secret compartment big enough for a few rolled-up bills. Search “secret compartment necklace” online for ideas.
• Keep cars gassed up. Along the same lines, I just stocked up on canned goods and pasta for the pantry and a freezer full of meat and fish. Nothing good is about to happen to our supply chains and pricing.
• For kids old enough to have phones, have them practice using Google maps in walking-directions mode so they can meet you someplace if their location becomes unsafe.
• Standard disaster-prep procedures are never a bad idea. Check out www.ready.gov/kit and www.state.gov/global-community-liaison-office/crisis-management/packing-a-go-bag-and-a-stay-bag/. Have a plan with your loved ones for where you’ll meet up if an emergency happens while you’re separated.
• Know Your Rights Cards (www.ilrc.org/red-cards-tarjetas-rojas) aren’t just for immigration emergencies. “Ask the agent if you are free to leave and if they say yes, leave calmly.” “I do not wish to speak with you, answer your questions, or sign or hand you any documents based on my 5th Amendment rights under the United States Constitution. I do not give you permission to search any of my belongings based on my 4th Amendment Rights.” Plus more, and a-freaking-men to all of it.
• I’ve lost the script Ana-Marie gave us, but I remember the general idea: If you’re in a sudden emergency situation in a crowd, YOU CAN be the person who takes charge and prevents panic just by shouting something like, “Everyone, please stay calm. We have a [type of emergency] situation” and then whatever the next action should be, like “I’m calling 911” or “Please go get a teacher”.

Of course I’m not suggesting that this level of prep is a full answer to my loved one’s question. Absolutely not. But Ana-Marie’s point, way back when, was that if we are individually prepared to navigate whatever comes at us, we can show up for each other and our communities.

I hope my preparation is wasted. I hope I never use it. (OK, that’s not true; I hope to eat all the pasta.)

But I’ll tell you something. A couple years after I did all this prep back in 2019, I ended up using it to escape my abusive marriage. I never would have expected my emergency to come from inside the house. Just like I never expected to fear the fall of our democracy.

And yet. Here we are. Together. Let’s be ready.

Love you all.