Let’s thank the President for reminding us why we must march today.

I will march because nothing this Administration has done threatens me directly. Nobody sees me as a thug or terrorist. My family won’t get deported. Nobody cares about my marriage or where I pee. I can afford the higher taxes. My neighborhood isn’t polluted. Everyone likes my smile because I’ve had good insurance my entire life.

So I will take my nice safe white-lady body and put it on the streets of Santa Ana because it’s the least I can do to show my love and respect for my black, brown, native, poor, Muslim, LGBTQ, disabled sisters and brothers who have worked harder to be welcomed into the American dream than I can even imagine.

Let me know if you’d like to meet up and march together. I’ll be the one in the pink sparkly cowboy hat, with my heart shining unafraid.