My college classmates group is all abuzz over the Cabinet confirmations of a couple of our alums, and it is triggering me right in the Shoulds, big time. Because that’s what it seems like so many of my classmates are: Big Time.

Now, it’s a huge school, so I’m not implying I’m BFFs with these folks. But believe me, we all “know” them. Besides the Cabinet posts, we hear them on the news, we laugh at their comedy sketches, we read their books, we have their products delivered to our doors, repeat ad lib to fade.

It’s a lot. And so I keep feeling compelled to cross-examine myself:

Shouldn’t I have made the choices they did, when we were in school and onwards? …But I didn’t want to.

Shouldn’t I have wanted to? …But I just — didn’t.

Shouldn’t I try to do more, BE more now? But —

But day by day for all these days, I’ve had my reasons and my limits and my heart’s own wishes, and I’ve made my choices. I can’t know how other people make theirs.

After nearly half a century of making the choices that make me, there is one thing I do know:

A life would be a very long time to pretend I’m someone else.