I posted on Facebook today about how I’m grappling with what it means to me and to our country that George Washington was an enslaver. I said, “If I spent my whole life keeping 300 humans tortured and enslaved for my personal wealth and comfort, it really wouldn’t matter what else I did to improve the world, would it? That would be my defining characteristic. Y’know what else wouldn’t matter? Whether it was legal or not for me to do that.”

That’s when an old friend from high school — a cis white male — popped up in the comments. Nah, it’s not what you think. Far from trolling, we had this exchange that felt very much like the conversation I wish our country was having right now:

HIM: I believe it does matter. The issues can be separated, without one discounting the other. History gets foggier over time, not clearer. George Washington was a great leader, and the right man at the time to kick start this democracy. It’s abhorrent he kept slaves, but that fact shouldn’t shroud is accomplishments. We can never really know the attitudes of the time, but merely judge through the imperfect lens of time. Maybe we would have owned slaves if we were brought up in the 1700s…I hope not…but we can only speculate.

ME: the thing is… attitudes of the time isn’t enough to excuse. Because if you think about who already knew at that time that slavery was wrong? There’s a really obvious answer that [our town’s] schools didn’t teach us as far as I recall. I remember learning that there were Abolitionists at the time, sure. But who else already knew enslaving Black people was wrong? ENSLAVED BLACK PEOPLE, that’s who. It was pretty damn obvious to them.

Anyway I’m not sure I’m ready to say we should tear down and rename all Washington memorials. But I do think it is *hugely* important to reckon with the full picture of how absolutely integral slavery is in our history.

And, like, to my point about what if I did that… If you found out I’d done that, wouldn’t you be like, omg what the hell kind of person is she really? I must not have known her at all. I’ve gotta reexamine all my memories of her in light of this news. …that’s what I think our country needs to do for awhile.

HIM: I agree. We must make whatever we can right with the knowledge and experience we have now. The past is in the past. Learns from it what we can, but maybe spend less energy judging the past. It gets murky quick. There is slavery and human trafficking in our world today… equally abhorrent.

ME: the past is not really past, though. That refusal to recognize the humanity of Black people is still very very much alive. That’s why it matters. Can’t hope to look past it til we’ve looked AT it and recognized it and how it is still with us.

HIM: Maybe maybe not. Context of time is very important

ME: yeah I used to think so, but I learned that is false because there were always people who saw more clearly. I don’t think it’s unfair to point out that people we have practically (and literally) sainted actually built and perpetuated systems of terrible cruelty that are still with us today.

we analyze Washington’s military wins and losses, we study his leadership, this is a completely valid part of his actions to study and critique how they affected the formation of our country’s identity and beliefs.

HIM: I agree, it absolutely matters. And I want to understand what I can do to make life better for those disenfranchised. I just think re examining what George Washington or Thomas Jefferson did 300 years ago might be displaced effort

I read the other day the civil rights act banning discrimination practices was passed on 1964. That’s not a long time ago. And when I learned that in history class, it didn’t mean much since I really didn’t understand the context…or the experiences of those impacted. I do now…so yeah I do agree relooking at the past with new knowledge is helpful. wait…did I just contradict myself? It’s a loaded topic for sure.

ME: yup loaded and complicated and contradictory for sure! i admire and appreciate how you are grappling with it too. it’s just so frustrating because i thought we got a good education, you know? and then here we are, inches away from 50 yrs old, having to go back and be like, um. well, you missed a spot…

HIM: yup. it’s a balance I guess we’re trying to navigate through.