blog

Author holding a protest sign quoting adrienne maree brown's "living through the unveiling"

Things are not getting worse, they are getting uncovered

Let's thank the President for reminding us why we must march today. I will march because nothing this Administration has done threatens me directly. Nobody sees me as a thug or terrorist. My family won't get deported. Nobody cares about my marriage or where I pee. I can afford the ...
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#VacationOfNewIdeas

Happy new year to all of you, my wonderful friends and family. It's been an intense #VacationOfNewIdeas, and I've got quite a lot to report out as we start the year together. Please forgive the length -- this feels big to me and I don't know how to turn it ...

Heart shining unafraid

Tick tick tick tick. 2017 dwindles, 2018 approaches. Would you like to see my personal Rules for who I want to be in the year ahead? Like I said, I don't do resolutions, but I do take a deep look at my Rules every six months or so. This time ...

Goodwill to all

I walked in these woods often as a child. These days, I visualize this as the world of my heart, where I rule as queen. Here at the center, I can see three truths that I try to carry with me into the outside world: One. Nothing and nobody can ...
/ Personal philosophy

Nothing doing

#VacationOfNewIdeas started off yesterday with what felt like one of the most transformational realizations I've ever had in my life. Hard to convey but I'll try in case it sparks anything for you. I've struggled my whole life with what's now called Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors, BFRBs. A few years ago I ...

Waking up on the field

"It's hard for our country to move the ball on racial justice when white people don't know we *have* the ball or that we're even on the field. We think we're just watching from the bleachers." Reflecting on this challenging wisdom and so much more from last week's Day 1 ...
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#metoo and #himtoo

The scariest #metoo that ever happened to me... didn't actually happen. Bit of a long story but hope you'll bear with me because it's about the male side of the equation in a couple of ways. Early in first semester freshman year, I got some bad scary news about my mom's health ...
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#metoo and #hertoo

No disrespect at all to #metoo, because, well, #metoo. But I was struck this morning by a #notme: driving along, noticed my headlight was out. Didn't start worrying that I would get shot or deported if I got pulled over. So I kept speeding. At that moment, a CHP motorcycle zipped past ...
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#metoo

A few years ago, I was in a touristy public park with my mom. A youngish guy with a bike was hanging around nearby. I felt his attention on me and I tried to do the dance of ignoring his interest while indicating polite awareness of his existence so he ...
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Trick or Re-Treat

via GIPHY Quarterly team retreat time! Or in this case, Trick-or-ReTreat time. With "eyeball pie" (quiche with olives), pumpkin bread, pumpkin soup, hand painting, pumpkin decorating, and a surprising amount of strategic planning ...
/ Management philosophy
My high school yearbook picture from 1989 with plenty of hairspray

One is silver

I graduated from Harvard in 1993, so my 25th reunion is coming up in 2018. Harvard is weird in a lot of ways, including the fact that they collect autobiographical essays from everyone in your class every five years, print them up as a book, and mail them out just ...
/ Personal philosophy

I am you are he/she/it/they is

It's not about the pronouns. Deeply surprised to find myself messing up again and again and again with someone who requested they/them. I mean, I'm a liberal! I'm polite! I have friends who transitioned FTM or MTF and I never deadname them! And yet I consistently find myself thinking, and ...
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