#VacationOfNewIdeas started off yesterday with what felt like one of the most transformational realizations I’ve ever had in my life. Hard to convey but I’ll try in case it sparks anything for you.

I’ve struggled my whole life with what’s now called Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors, BFRBs. A few years ago I established a strong recovery from pulling out my hair based on another huge realization in my journal, that it was a deeply unkind way to comfort myself. But I still haven’t been able to control my skin picking, which is part of that same behavior: can’t stop tearing at my cuticles, can’t leave scabs or pimples or any “wrong” spots alone. Cannot. Can not.

Lately I’ve been working on relaxing back out of that urge when it hits. Not clenching down to resist, just lightly leaning back to let it pass. It’s been a bit helpful but not really shifting the behavior. Then came yesterday.

I suddenly saw a truth that has eluded me for damn near 40 years, since I started picking at my nails as a small child:

I am DOING this behavior. Every single time I pick my skin, it is because I take the action to do it. Which means… All I have to do to change is – literally – nothing.

I just have to do nothing. I’m already there if I do nothing at all. If I simply do not do the thing.

And what in the world could be easier than doing nothing?

It’s incredibly hard. It’s a lifelong struggle. AND, it’s the simplest thing in the world. All at the same time.

*head explodes*
*heart expands*
*hands go quiet*

May this bring some measure of peace to you as well, whatever your battle may be.